Friday, November 1, 2013
Anyone else nervous...?
So, I read Ryan's post about high school being a quarter of the way done, and I know everyone else is excited to be done. Am I the only one scared as hell of leaving the safety of Mayfair and being dumped into the chaotic, big, bad world out there? Do not get me wrong, I am happy that I completed twelve years of pre-real life school. I have realized that I'm not SURE what I want to do with the rest of my life! I hear everyone in my classes that know where they are going to college, going to major in, and then do with their life. Thinking to myself, I know that I'm not ready to go out into the world yet. I don't have anything planned, or accomplishments to lean on. I feel like a failure almost, but then again, some people change their plans again and again. God, I'm already slacking off, this blogging is the struggle because I have never done it before, and this is only ONE aspect of ONE class. I don't even have to stress about the personal statement because I'm going to a CC. I just have to keep saying that I need to get my...stuff...together. I know college is going to be harder, and if only this is hard for me, how can I swing it in college, right? I think one of my "progress goals" should be to do all of my work on time. Obviously, I am not good at that...
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Not only am I nervous, but I am absolutely terrified. Others may find this shocking, but I am so dependent...dependent to the point where I never do the laundry or the dishes or the vacuuming or the tidying. I feel guilty for relying on my parents so much, but I feel frazzled as it is. I am not trying to make up any ridiculous excuses, but I never put the effort to make time for chores. My mind feels like it is everywhere; one part is focused on music, the other is focused on my studies, and another is focused on being happy. It is incredibly difficult to balance all of the key parts of our life, so what makes it any easier in college? The point is that college is not any easier, it is the chapter in life where we have to adjust. Yes Amy, this year is definitely the struggle. We have to figure out how to change our negative habits to help us become independent in college. Some may already be trained in independence, but for those like me, we need to make a change. As for myself, I kind of have my life planned, but then again, no one knows for sure until it happens. My stomach flips every time I think about my future. Although we are all scared, we need to persevere. Amy, we need to face college head on and say, "We got this. I am going to make it through college and have the future I deserve."
ReplyDeleteCaitlin, Amy, it feels so good to know that I'm not alone. It's hard for me to work and be independent- I always need someone to tell me how and when to do stuff, especially chores around the house.
DeleteI sort of envy kids my age like Erick who seem so independent and don't become so stressed about leaving the comfort ( and horrors) of high school and seem to have all their *stuff* together, but I suppose that's because after high school, we have all of these options to choose from to get a higher education. We don't have to go as big as a UC or Harvard; just start small with a CC. No one really knows what they're going to do in the future and that's one of the wonders of college life!
I am not nervous at all. I'm more than ready for college. This whole how the baby us in high school is something I always hated. I'm ready to go off already. I'm tired of being around kid's all day. I just want to get my school work done and leave. I'd rather not have all this stuff like lunch and bell telling us when to be in class. Its stupid too me. I know I'll get to college one way or another so I'm not even worrying. I don't feel what your saying at all I'm glad to leave this place full of kids.
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