I am unsure whether I should be satisfied with my personal statement. I realize that we have already completed two drafts, but I cannot tell whether my personal statement has met the college standards. I selected the second prompt for the UC schools, which was to talk about the importance of a talent or experience of mine. This prompt felt natural for me to write, but my writing has never been the best. Vannessa Horsey posed a similar statement saying, "I still don’t know whether or not the essay I wrote was even moderately good enough." How are we supposed to know if we are not allowed to correct each others papers during peer reviews? I understand some students do not have respect for their classmates, but I feel like our inability to write on these essays is hindering our chance to write a brilliant final draft.
Yes, I used the Peter Elbow techniques, such as priming the pump and the direct writing process. Of course it helped get my juices flowing, but I know I am not a perfect writer. I want my classmates to write down their own opinions so I know what I can change and improve on in the future. I am the type of person who does not like any sugarcoating. I appreciate the truth, whether it is harsh or not. My personal statement was selected as the best of the bunch, but the half sheet only revealed the positive parts of my essay. I do not mind receiving feedback because it will only change my writing for the better. Do any of you feel the same way? Would writing corrections on our classmates essays improve our writing?
I understand where you are coming from Caitlin, but I know that Fletcher doesn't want people to be rude with critiques. However, I do believe that our class can be professional when considering others works. Being a hard critique can be a good thing because like you said, it will improve what you have to say. I wish Fletcher would at least revise our essays for grammatical mistakes because then I can change the framework of my essay without changing it completely. I know that feedback is either good or bad, obviously. Just having to read your essay outloud to someone just say "thank you" does not give me the constructive criticism that is needed to revise my paper.
ReplyDeleteI did like that we read multiple papers to get a sense of how it works and what we should do differently. I think it would be good if everyone could talk to the authors of the papers they read to personally give them criticism. You don't have to say, "that was crap" to get your point across. I mean we are sixteen to eighteen years old, I hope we have gained a little tact in our lives so far. Anyone who hasn't shouldn't be in a writing class. Go back to regular English.
Honestly, I would suggest that she have post-it notes on the table for people to write their comments. Especially when you don't know who it is when you read it. Yes, people are judmental and stupid at times, but I think that we all want eachother to succeed and write a good personal statement. How can we do that if we are not able to give the necessary feedback to the author? For fear of what? Hurting someone? That is kind of dumb. So yes, I agree with Caitlin wholeheartedly.
I can relate. When I ask friends to look over my essays, I do like them to be critical and severe; that is the only way my essay will improve. Simply saying "Oh, it was so good" or "I love this!" does not help me in any way. I would much prefer a hurtful truth than a vague praise. At the very least, I prefer positive feedbacks to come with why it was so. Saying "I love it" is almost pointless. What was loved? My idea? Language?
ReplyDeleteI depend on peer reviews to fix my essays. I cannot depend on myself because I would be stuck in the same mindset I was in when I first started writing. Peer review gives my words to a fresh mind that can pinpoint all the strengths and weaknesses if they were honest and meticulous enough to share.
For students like Caitlin and Duyen, you could probably comment and give feedback. I should have probably been more clear about that. But what tends to happen is that people get all red-pen power crazy, and they make changes that may or may not be advised. Ultimately, you have be your own best critic, and peers should be able to tell you what is working, and WHY. Is the language fresh? Is the image good? We finish these personal statements at the end of October, but honestly, they are not "finished" then. They are just getting started, actually. November is the month that it all gets real.
ReplyDeleteWhen you are sitting with a peer you respect and trust, you should ask them for the kind of feedback you are looking for. Nothing is stopping you from asking EVERYBODY YOU HAVE EVER MET from commenting. In class, I have a responsibility to keep it pretty neutral. Some kids are intimidated by the writer sitting next to them. Some kids are [whatever the opposite is of "intimidated"] by the writer sitting next to them. But if the pairing is good, fair, equal -- then get what you need.
I know what you mean Caitlin, I have been meaning to reply to this post, but I said to myself that I would wait until our second blind read around. Unfortunately again, I didn’t get the feedback that I wanted to be given. I was expecting my paper to be “murdered” with little messages on how to better my paper, but nothing. I know my paper is not good, I really wish that the table that got our table’s paper actually criticized my paper. I am looking for that harsh feedback because that is what will strengthen my paper. Another idea I had was sending it to friends or cousins, but they still replied with the typical, “It is good.” I understand where Caitlin and everyone else are coming from with the problem of peer review. It is difficult to get people sometimes to be true when criticizing a paper because a friend or family member doesn’t want to hurt your feelings, but sometimes it is needed. Now I am stuck and troubled with writing my third and final draft.
ReplyDelete