Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Second Personal Statement
My second personal statement was more difficult to me because I thought the prompt meant to describe the world around you. Not describe how the world around you has affected you. So I wrote a lot about my parents and their childhoods and the struggle they went through. I didn't say though how all of that has made me the person I am today. I didn't say how their sacrifices for me or my siblings has affected everything I am today. Ms. Fletcher helped me out a lot by editing it and making me notice that my PERSONAL statement wasn't about me at all. So I have been making some changes to it and hopefully it turns out to be all about me and the man I am today.
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I did the same exact thing. I wrote mostly about the world my parents were raised in. I thought speaking about my parents was beneficial but ms fletcher also helped me realize it needs to be about me. After looking over my first draft of the first personal statement it became very clear that I cant only talk about others, because they are not the ones who are applying to colleges. After having practice writing my first personal statement the second one became a lot easier and I felt confident about talking about myself.
ReplyDeleteIt looks like we both did the same thing. I only wrote about the people that live in my household and completely forgot to write about myself. Some of the students that proofread my work helped me realize that I needed to write more about myself instead of just my family. After the first and second drafts I made sure I added more about myself in the final draft so I think I wrote a good essay.
ReplyDeleteI did this prompt on my first personal statement and I have to say it was not an easy one to write about. It was a fun one to write but I feel like I may have left out a key part in it. I don't think I talked that much about other people and mostly talked about the world I cam from like the prompt said. I fixed both drafts for my first personal statement and I think I did a better job in revising into my final draft.
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